Colin’s a famous book editor

Book editors are real elitists.  They’re very defensive about their role as a bottleneck to entry into the publishing world, and while there are some whose product is of such demand that they become understandably frustrated and dismissive toward the tens of manuscripts they receive daily, most are not victims of such demand and are dismissive solely to transfer power to themselves. In both respects they act very similar to venture capitalists, A&R men (a la Simon Cowell), corporate headhunters or high school cheerleaders.  Yet each of these necessarily maintains, and is not threatened by, their main-street counterparts: for every venture capitalist there is an angel investor, each Simon Cowell is balanced by the sound engineer who produces demo tracks for local bands, and corporate headhunters are not threatened by temp agencies.  So whereas there are pages and pages on the internet from classy book editors saying to watch out for those who fancy themselves editors just because they have a degree in English, I’d like to be just that.

I would like to start a business as a small-time business-writing editor for technical manuals, marketing pieces, theses, and self-published books.  So proofreading, copyediting, etc.  I would lead with my own niche strengths and competencies: in my case a degree in hardcore mathematically-sound grammar, an auditory brain development conducive to an unmatched fluidity in writing, and a comfort-level with ambiguity that is attracted to the nuance of diction.  I am not qualified to discuss what publishers like to see, whether the tone of your work matches your intended audience, or who eats at what restaurant.  But I have run a magazine that printed 30,000 copies per issue; been to grad school; been a college president; produced ads and marketing pieces for a living my whole life; and obtained a major, minor, and 4 teaching credentials in language teaching.  That lovely pile of resume fodder has gotta’ be worth something!  I would be quite justified in saying, “Nothing should touch the public that doesn’t go through me first.”  So if you’re a successful businessperson who just can’t spell, a programmer who hates writing your FAQs and policing your wiki, or someone who wants proofreading for your memoirs, give me a call at (415) 827-5630.